Pizza tweet!

From The Everywhere Girl Diaries – a work of fiction

Fifth week of December, year one

Dear Diary,

I should be getting dressed.  Aunt Beth is taking me to a very nice restaurant tonight for New Year’s Eve. Frankly, I’d rather sit on the couch and ponder the events of the last 24 hours.

Wednesday 10 pm – I land in San Paulo.  Aunt Beth is waiting in a chauffeured car to take me to the hotel. It’s good to see her.  She’s dressed in various shades of purple. With Aunt Beth, everything is an adventure. On the way to the hotel she tells me all the things she has planned for us to do.

Wednesday 11 pm – The rooms are fantastic.  She’s in a suite and I’m in an adjoining room which is about four times the size of my dorm room.  After ordering a hamburger from room service, I try to sleep – not an easy task since it’s only 5 in the evening where I come from.

Thursday 4 am – I still can’t sleep, so I decide to check my email.  I have my right-brained computer with me and the hotel has high speed internet.

Thursday 4:05 am – I turn on my computer and it’s the first thing I see. PIZZA TWEET!

“Pizza tonight.  Flame broiled.”

Thursday 4:10 am – I spring into action and try to call Mr. Mallard on his cell. I only get voicemail so I send a text message, followed by an email, and then three more calls. No answer, no response. Where the heck is he?  I picture him mugged in an alleyway, out on a hot date, or doing his laundry. I wonder why that woman has his home number and I don’t.

I tell myself that I’ve done my job and I should try to get some sleep.

I’m in bed for about 30 seconds when I figure it out.  Spectrum is going to burn down a pizza parlor and he’s going to do it tonight.  I’m in a panic.

Thursday 4:20 am – I Google “rainbow pizza”.  Nothing. I try it without quotes.  Nothing.  I try pizzeria. I try every synonym I can think of. Still nothing. I’m just about to give up when I find it – Joe’s Pizza on Rainbow Drive.  That has to be it.

Thursday 4:30 am – I call the police and tell them that I know what and where Spectrum’s next crime will be.  I’m immediately transferred to a tip hot line. I do not leave a message.

Thursday 4:35 am – Nearly hysterical, I remember that I have Bert’s phone number. He gave it to me so I could call his wife and get her fudge recipe. When I call, he acts surprised.  I beg him to find Mr. Mallard and get the police. He agrees on the condition that I calm down.

Thursday 5:15 am – It’s Wednesday 11:15 pm back home. Bert, Mr. Mallard, and two patrol cars arrive at Joe’s Pizza. They wait.  At 12:00, across town, The Pot of Gold Pizza Parlor burns to the ground.